That’s what the older cohorts are saying anyways. And today, I feel it. There is nothing more I want to do right now than to curl up on the tiny couch in my office and fall asleep. I’m am both emotionally and physically tired and I’m afraid that I will be useless in my class this afternoon. I feel that Intervention I is going to be one of the most important classes I take as a future therapist, and yet I feel unprepared and unenthusiastic today. Part of it is my exhaustion. I haven’t gotten enough sleep because of trying to read the readings for class and even when I do get to bed, it takes me a long time to shut off my mind and fall asleep. Yet I am convinced if I lied down right now, I would be asleep in an instant.
I am also emotionally tired right now. This morning, group supervision was extremely intense, and full of “the suck.” One of the students admitted to academic dishonesty and the others in my group responded with expressions of their negative emotions and disappointment. Then, another student expressed her discontent with the negative atmosphere and the dynamic of our group. I’m feeling all too lost about the whole situation. This is only my third clinical supervision and there were a number of tears and frustrations, and I feel like all of this is too much with the rest of adjusting to grad school right now.
I have had one full week of classes now. The reality of the school year and the long path ahead of me are setting in. I’m already feeling attached to my cohort as my family away from home, and my roommates have made this stressful life bearable, but today is the first day where I feel like I’ve had enough, that I need a little more time to process what is going on and remember that I need to take care of myself.
They don’t joke when they talk about self-care in psychology. Some will claim that it is a nice aspiration, but a hard reality to achieve. As hard as it is, I can never give that up. That’s one of the reason’s why I keep this blog. So this afternoon, I will power through for a few more hours, write up an assignment when I get home, and then go to sleep. And I will sleep until my body wakes me up and tells me that I have healed enough to move on to the next day.
And maybe I will have learned something from this formative week.
Summer job is going well! I’m blogging about that too. You can read about my creations at froyoguru.tumblr.com. As a warning, your mouth may start watering.
I’m also looking for a laptop for grad school. My one that I bought in August broke and my Dad and I took it to get repaired. To our dismay, the part that needed to be replaced no longer is produced and cannot be ordered. I’m sad, but I’ve promised my parents that this time the laptop will be mine. I’m going to pay for it. I’m thinking this time around I will finally get a Mac, but I’m also not sure I’m ready to go over to the dark side. Anyone got a recommendation?
In psych news. I got the DSM-V as a graduation present. I skimmed the contents, but I’d like to do a little bit of in-depth reading this summer. I was totally nerding out when I flipped through the pages. I think this will be a handy tool for grad school.
My apartment lease is signed. My flight is booked. It’s really happening. I’m moving to Alaska. I’m studying Clinical Psychology. This is my life.
34 days until Fairbanks.